Haunted

Haunted
by the memories of my past
a painful irony
Falling to pieces
Shattered,
And battered
Back to my brutal reality
Where all I know is my memories
Where we met once again
Trying to push them back
Down inside buried
Locked away
Where no one can find them
Not even me
Sit back
Watch that old world burn

Summer

We eat the flesh

And spit the seeds,

Leave nothing but the rinds.

Ruby juice stains our chins

And white tanks—

All the rage that year—

And the wood of the deck

Where we sat

And talked

And burned our faces.

I fell in love that year,

With the sun

And glass soda bottles

And guitar music

And the idea of love.

We went wading in the stream,

Collected all the pretty stones,

And lost them on the way home.

That summer

Looked like heaven

Sounded like an old piano

And tasted like watermelon.

That Dream

 I had that dream again

where I die in the tunnel

I am driving even though I don’t drive,

the car varies,

the bigger the fight

the larger the car:

My Mom, my best friend,

my Dad

the country side is blank

like a post card I bought in Chicago when I was 5

in the tunnel I’m all alone,

like those nights my Mom had to work late

those nights when I feared she wouldn’t be back

I start to panic, and my palms start to sweat

I get so close to the end,

then a loud CRACK,

releases the water from its cage

I run and try to escape

with ever step I am pushed back 5

I start to swim, and I still get nowhere

I beg, in my head, for someone to help me

yet no one is there

the water rises to the top

I take my last gasp of air

I plunge into the dark limitless water

close my eyes and pray

even thought I haven't prayed for years

I feel guilty, I abandoned my faith

now I will die and I am a sinner

I ask for life, but beg for forgiveness

then I see Him

the dark man looking at me

I’m not scared just curious

we lock eyes

He smiles

I feel safe

He is dressed in cultured dress

and His hair is cut short

His face like a road map,

aged like wine

His eyes tell you more

then a greek story teller

no judgement

no fear just love

in His great big brown eyes

the grandpa I never knew

smiled at me

I felt safe an opened my mouth

water rushed desperate to be a part of me

I wake up

my lungs ache

my arms and legs are sore

and I can’t take my eyes off my ceiling

looking for cracks and drops of water

-Emily Helen Culver